Who Are We?

The Failed Attempt is one writer's blog designed to expose the author's work to criticism, cynicism and enjoyment. It is updated whenever the author actually has the time to do so, but at least once a week is what we're aiming for. Please leave comments. Let us know just how much you love us... Cuz you know you do.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

... Why does it have to be me? ...

Hello? Is this thing on? *screeeeeech* Ow!

Hi. This is the author's friend, er one of them. The author is having a bit of a meltdown and won't be able to post anything either today or tomorrow. Anything that she would be able to put up would be completely unintelligible, so, I believe its all for the best. I'm going to have to tie her down in a while so she can sleep. It isn't a pretty sight.

She told me to put this pic up and say goodnight for her. So, goodnight.

Because this is the random stuff I do in the middle of the night...

Tada! A look into the mind of your blogger! The Failed Attempt is proud to present to you, its first video! The Writing Process.



Just for you, from a rummy me... See if you can find the pattern to all this...

Friday, June 5, 2009

Many Apologies


I am sorry, ladies and gentlemen, that our regularly scheduled post was not up today. To make a long story short, I was away from home all day and, therefore, unable to do any work. That will all be different this weekend since I will be home completely alone!! Thank God!

To make up for today, I will be posting more of our Ubiquitous Fiction Piece tomorrow as well as Sunday! How wonderfully exciting for us all... Now, will everyone kindly leave me the hell alone so I can get some work done? Okay? Okay.


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Doggie Fun Day


Okay, so no real blogging is going to get done today, but I thought y'all might want to know how the Cavalier Fun Day went, since we are all dog lovers around here.

In short, it was long. What happens is that you get about fifty people gathered around in their lawn chairs waiting for the food to arrive, since, of course, the caterer is late. Along with the people are about 80-90 Cavaliers who jump around saying, "Pet me! Pet me!" or "Feed me! Feed me!" The dogs are the best company you have. Then there is a raffle in which the people prove to be much more ravenous than the dogs. All in all, it was fun.

Now, I have a book recommendation for you all, to make up for the lack of substance in this post and what better book to recommend in a post entitled "Doggie fun day" than a book for your cat. Go find a copy of How to Massage Your Cat by Alice M. Brock. This is an absolutely hilarious book about how to give your cat the best massage they've had in their lives. Learn the techniques in this book and your cat will look like this when its all over:

On a side note, Alice Brock is the Alice from Arlo Guthrie's song, "Alice's Restaurant." If you have never heard this song, seriously, listen to it here http://www.rhapsody.com/arlo-guthrie/alices-restaurant--2004 and find the lyrics. It is the funniest thing you will ever listen to.