completely unpunctuated

have you ever had dunkin donuts? i have, and i don't see what all the fuss is about. and their coffee? not that great! now they're selling it at costco for home use. why? why would i spend ten bucks on coffee i can get elsewhere? seriously, what am i paying for? just the name, dunkin donuts. and what is with that name? dunkin'? nobody dunks their donuts anymore. its oldfashioned and out dated. i suppose you'll find some fat cop who turns his lights on just to get into the donut shop dunkin' his apple fritter in his bad dunkin donuts coffee, but he's the exception, not the rule. i don't dunk my donuts. do you? do you dunk your donuts, friend? answer me truthfully, now. this is the beginning of a worldwide survey, do people really dunk their donuts? ask your friends that question and leave me a comment because i really want to know. i'm going to ask my friends, you ask yours. because i want to know! i think this is an important piece of information that the common people of the world should have access to. non-dunking donut eaters unite, and root out that evil which is dunking donut eaters. There, mar would be proud of that statement. he was all about uniting to sad, pointless causes. seriously, if you ever actually read his communist manifesto, that is what you will see. the only impact it had was on philosophers whose job it is to ponder the insane ideas of raving lunatics. they get paid for that. but do the common people, no! nobody cares! besides, all the countries who have engaged in communism, the only people who are wealthy are the people running the commune! that's not fair! that makes them the elite, and communism is all about destroying any elitism whatsoever. equal portions to unequal workers, that's their point. modern communism has totally forgotten that. capitalism is the only system where everyone who is anyone's nobody can make a fair amount of wealth that is equal to their work. that's fair. if i work for fifty cents to buy a candy bar, then i should get my candy bar all to myself, right? well, communism is i work for fifty cents to buy a candybar, and i have to share it with my profligate brother who sat on his ass all day long while i worked. did he earn any part of that condy bar? of course not! so i should not have to share with him. especially if that candy bar happens to be my favorite kind of candy bar, which is reeses, by the way. and i never share a reeses candy bar, no friggin way! so you see, that's the difference between capitalism and communism, whether you have to share a candy bar, or you can have it all to yourself. which do you prefer? which brings me to another point, anyone who says they want to share a candy bar with you, is nuts! or on a diet which happens occasionally, but are they actually sharing because they want to? no, they're sharing because to eat the whole thing would put them over their calorie count or because it means an extra hour at the gym when they'd actually prefer to be home with their family, doing something else that hopefully doesn't involve the diet busting candy bar. so they don't count in this discussion of people who want to give their candy bar away, they do so to sacrifice for a higher cause or a smaller waistline atleast. so, all this discussion goes to prove is that no one really wants to give their candy bar away, and if they say they do are either duped, lying, or its poisoned. which brings me to a final thought which we all know to be true, never accept candy bars from your enemies because the chances that the candy is poisoned are pretty high. so, that's life's lesson for the day: don't take candy bars from enemies because it'll probably be the last candy bar you ever eat.

Just for fun...

This sounds pretty funny coming from a Starbucks addict. I think it was one of those random, five minutes to write anything down exercises. I have a whole bunch of those. And there always seems to be two common threads to these exercises: food and communism. On some subtle, psychological level I'm sure it shows that I'm a mass-murderer in the making. I just can't quite figure out the connection.

so, have you ever considered starbucks? its rise to fame was great and swift, a dangerous combination. people flocked to its doors and it became a hub of culture and relations. its worse than the mall. so, what's next? something big like that happens and people freak out! will we have starbucks anonymous? will the communists infiltrate our minds by brainwashing hidden beneath the catchy music they pipe into their cafes? are the barristas really the officers of a new marxist army? or are they raving capitalists? either way, it sounds terrible and destructive to me. but wait, what if starbucks was to suddenly go bankrupt, close its doors indefinitely to the dismay of an adoring public? the west and east coasts of the u.s. would be devestated! where would we find coffee to drink? starbucks has already killed the mom and pop shops. supermarkets aren't equipped for the deluge of people desperate for caffeine. instead of going to starbucks, they would all line up in front of the bridges and fling themselves from of them out of despair and depression. California would be entirely empty of human life. so would new york. I've heard that theren't aren't any starbucks in the midwest, however. great. so now, the coasts would be repopulated by homer and his wife/sister marge and their retarded kids. my poor california! we must not let starbucks take such a hold of us, people! think of the children! think of the fate of our country if what i predict happens. your house, left empty after your suicide will be filled with hicks from texas who decorate with cow horns, shotguns, orange hats and camo-pants. In your perfectly manicured front lawn will be parked a rusty john deere tractor. inside your ultra-modern living space will hang the head of a dead deer, probably not even taxidermied. it'll just molt all over the floor. i can hear them now, "Jimmy! don't tease the poor sick kid. its not his fault. don't make me get the hose!" *shudders* people, don't let our beaches be besmirched by the stain of hillbilly rednecks! fight your addiction to starbucks with all your might! fight fight! the fate of our country and all the civilization we bring to it rest in your coffee holding hands.