Just for fun...

This sounds pretty funny coming from a Starbucks addict. I think it was one of those random, five minutes to write anything down exercises. I have a whole bunch of those. And there always seems to be two common threads to these exercises: food and communism. On some subtle, psychological level I'm sure it shows that I'm a mass-murderer in the making. I just can't quite figure out the connection.

so, have you ever considered starbucks? its rise to fame was great and swift, a dangerous combination. people flocked to its doors and it became a hub of culture and relations. its worse than the mall. so, what's next? something big like that happens and people freak out! will we have starbucks anonymous? will the communists infiltrate our minds by brainwashing hidden beneath the catchy music they pipe into their cafes? are the barristas really the officers of a new marxist army? or are they raving capitalists? either way, it sounds terrible and destructive to me. but wait, what if starbucks was to suddenly go bankrupt, close its doors indefinitely to the dismay of an adoring public? the west and east coasts of the u.s. would be devestated! where would we find coffee to drink? starbucks has already killed the mom and pop shops. supermarkets aren't equipped for the deluge of people desperate for caffeine. instead of going to starbucks, they would all line up in front of the bridges and fling themselves from of them out of despair and depression. California would be entirely empty of human life. so would new york. I've heard that theren't aren't any starbucks in the midwest, however. great. so now, the coasts would be repopulated by homer and his wife/sister marge and their retarded kids. my poor california! we must not let starbucks take such a hold of us, people! think of the children! think of the fate of our country if what i predict happens. your house, left empty after your suicide will be filled with hicks from texas who decorate with cow horns, shotguns, orange hats and camo-pants. In your perfectly manicured front lawn will be parked a rusty john deere tractor. inside your ultra-modern living space will hang the head of a dead deer, probably not even taxidermied. it'll just molt all over the floor. i can hear them now, "Jimmy! don't tease the poor sick kid. its not his fault. don't make me get the hose!" *shudders* people, don't let our beaches be besmirched by the stain of hillbilly rednecks! fight your addiction to starbucks with all your might! fight fight! the fate of our country and all the civilization we bring to it rest in your coffee holding hands.